Change

Ive been doing alot of wondering and thinking! Ive been wondering how our lives are going to change in the next few weeks! Wow at the beginning at the month we knew by the end of the month our lives were going to be different but God has a way of showing just how fast what we thought was going to be is not so. We knew the winter could be tough for Nathanaels job and we figured we would tough it out. Last week we decided based on how our lives are going to be changing that Nathanael would look for different options for work. So as this change is happening we are also getting ready for this baby! Wow look at our lives change again all at once. I know god will provide and guide us through this crazy time in our lives. This has happened at the end of all our pregnancies, its kinda a weird and crazy time for it to happen but I think that the last few times all the change happened all at once we grew closer as a couple and as a family. When we were getting ready to have Joey Nathanael was working at west steel and was experiencing alot of pain in his one arm and hand, the more he ignored it and tried to bear it the worse it got. after Joey was about 6 weeks old we decided that he would try and find a different job and I would also go to work. This worked out great due to my mom not working during the day so she could take Joey, we didn't understand why everything was happening the way it was and we didn't really have faith in the situation and until we did we struggled. When we were waiting for Carver to come I was forced to take my maternity leave early due to my health and shortly after I was on maternity leave Nathanael experienced inter office madness at the agency that he was working for and needed to leave. Therefore I was 9 months pregnant and not working and then he wasn't either. We decided that this time we would leave it to the lord and we knew that if we did this things would work themselves out. Shortly after leaving the agency he started working for his brother and I have never seen him enjoy going to work as much as he did. It did all work out, thanks to the lord. Now when all this started happening again I knew that in my state and with everything else changing again that I could let it all bother me at the same time and that I had to leave it all to the lord and let him guide us through it. I haven't really been letting him guide me through the last little bit of this pregnancy though. I haven't been doing so well mentally and I haven't been asking the lord or anybody else for help! In the last week I haven't been the nicest to the people that mean the most to me and I haven't been asking for help when I need it the most. I have alot of special people in my life and in the last two weeks I have pushed a few of them away. The last few days Nathanael has been able to be home with me and I have finally had some sleep and have finally been able to talk to him and tell him how I feel. I have come to realize once again that I have to leave everything in gods hands and let him guide me. I think I have finally come to an understanding and I am able to finally relax. Thank you lord. (Picture taken by Heidi Werdal www.familyreflectionsphotography.ca)