Pondering turns to Venting

Lately I have been pondering a lot. I have been thinking about how I have lived my life until now, where it is, and where I want it to go. I have been thinking that I need a change or that I need more of something and I cant quite pin point it. My life is extremely busy and I still feel like I am not doing something I should be or I need to change what I am doing. I have also feeling like physically something is wrong. I have these feelings every once in a while and as soon as I think to get it checked out it passes or someone just tells me that its because I am too busy. Ill get back to the physical shortly I really need to get out what I am pondering. For those of you that know me and for those of you who have read by blog know that I am a busy person and I love it. Some days I need to take a time out from the socializing or the running around but most the time my life is filled with business from dawn till dusk. On my way out to meet my grandparents for camping this weekend I looked back behind me and saw three sleeping children all of them content with their dreams. Above all I love being a Wife and a Mom I truly do but as they are growing I feel as if I was meant to do something else and that feeling of uncertainty and inpatients is getting to me lately. I know I will go to school as soon as all three are on school and once my hubby is done his schooling but what do I do to fill this void I have now? I thought in September it was a physical need that I needed to be more active so I joined a bowling league. I am not a newbie to the sport and fell into as if I had never had a four year break. Once I fell into the groove of that I felt I needed more so I signed up for another league and took every opportunity for tournaments. I still had the void so I felt maybe like I needed to lose all the baby fat and get myself healthier so I joined a weight loss program. Still nothing still a void. I did pretty good at the weight loss thing and lost more than I expected but not quite my goal and I have kept it off. After the weight loss challenge was over I still felt the void so I picked up an exercise class well that was the wrong thing to do my body couldn't handle the bowling and the exercise class so I dropped it and soon after bowling was done and I got suckered into playing baseball for the summer. I LOVE it, I have always loved playing ball especially for fun and I am having a blast with it. Ball filled the void but recently its back. I feel like I want more out of life like I am never fully satisfied but as soon as that thought runs through my head I think what else do you need? plus your always sooo tired and this leads into my physical issues. I AM so tired, when i am out I'm okay but as soon as I'm home i sit down and have No motivation for anything and maybe this goes hand in had with my feeling a void maybe I am feeling it because I am soo tired that I don't play with the kids as often as I would like, I don't make dinner as extravagant as I want to, I don't want to clean the house all because I am utterly exhausted. I really wanted this to be a positive pondering but it turned out with me asking more questions than I started with. Thanks for listening once again to my ramblings!!!

Kiddie Reminders!!!

I really needed a shower today! My hair was a mess and I despertly needed to shave my legs LOL. Probably TMI I know but stay with me. I dread having to shower. Things in this house can go from 100% perfect and content to negitive 100% in less that 10 seconds. I cant even remember showering without coming out of the bathroom to find everything was still intact, nothing ruined and everyone accounted for. SO while in my dreaded shower I was thinking "WOW heres one more thing I miss doing from before I had Kids" I started to think of all the things that prove I am a mom or remind me that I am a mom on a daily bases. I got all these in my head before two tiny fists pounding on the door and a high pitched "MOM" yes kaity has found her voice. SO NOT FUNNY STOP LAUGHING ;) BUSTED. Anways heres my list:

1) MOMMY can no longer shower let alone leave a room for more than 2 minutes without something going missing (child or item), something being dumped, sprayed, squirted, drawn on, broken or someone freaking out.

2) My Van looks more like the inside of my diaper bag than a vehical. Having everythig in it from sunscreen, bugspray, extra clothes to bottles, blankets, snacks, toys, shoes and paper towel.

3) I cant talk on the phone without someone interuppting or scraming at the top of their lungs.

4)My most used words are; NO, STOP THAT, DONT, TIME OUT, 123, DONT HIT HER/HIM.

5)My walls are covered with the latest works of three toddlers

6)I Know the words to the theme songs of Max and Ruby, Backyardagins, Dora, Deigo, Harry and his bucket full of dinosaures and numerous other tv shows.

7) Silence is not something I look forward too. No Noise = BAD

8) I cant wait to get away and when I'm away I cant wait to get back

9) Someone asks me to do something with them, or for them and I have to check my phone, my daytimer and rack my brain to see if I forgot something.

10) My Favorite sound is laughter especially the giggles

11)I am a pro seeker/ fixer/ snuggler/ dr/ hurddler/ hair dresser

12) I have to jump a gate everytime I go into the kitchen or dinning room.

13)my most favorite time of the week is grocery shopping

14) I ENJOY my job as a MOM and would trade it fore ANYTHING